I’m sure those in the lane would get the whole story at just a first look on the title. Those who chose to stay. Those who chose to walk a bit further, maybe a step at a life.
Most people say I’m not positive enough, or optimistic, well yeah I’m more of a realist.
The positive life is beautiful and a lot simpler. Who doesn’t want to walk around with a smile on their faces? Who can say no to expecting the best of life’s turns and the highest of the lower grounds?
There was a time where I used to wake up with a smile on my face, then thank the lord for waking up to a beautiful day awaiting with so many opportunities for me to open, a time when I praised the running water on my body, and the flavoured tea warming my veins. Well I did that for about a year. I was unbreakable, not because nothing could get through me but because I had a denial shear wall well built up to resist anything to pull me down. Each day I make sure that I was spending the day right,
- Make a plan
- Smile and believe
- Do good
- Avoid anything that sounds like a no or any “negativity” from entering my mind
- Look for the best in everything
- Live, breathe, be grateful “because” there are lot’s having it worse
The list goes on…
Then one day I asked, am I happy or am I safe? Well neither was the answer. I now don’t believe in expecting the best out of everything, the good out of everyone, nor do I tell myself to push tears back and pull myself together. I don’t think any of that is real. It’s just what we tell our minds, and the more we feed the mind the less we listen to ourselves.
I believe in voicing feelings. From love to hatred. From happiness to madness. From a single smile to shading tears. That way you can see things for what they truly are and that way you can save yourself from lots of disappointments you didn’t see coming probably blinded by the colors of the “rainbow” you painted over your days.
All started out over a bad day back in the days. So one day I had a really bad day. I first told myself to stand damned tall and to dare not tear up. I succeeded on that part. Then came another part where I had to be nice to others even though all I wanted was to speak out. I smiled that part out. Then I met someone I haven’t seen in years who had the audacity to tell me to cheer up because someone else may be having it worse and not only that but to be “grateful”, that everything happens for a reason. That’s when I couldn’t take it. They could not have gone any more wrong.
- I’ve once read, “I think that if I ever have kids, and they are upset, I won’t tell them that people are starving in China or anything like that because it wouldn’t change the fact that they’re still upset. And even if somebody else has it much worse, that doesn’t really change the fact that you have what you have.”
- Why would I be grateful when I’m clearly mad
- No not everything happens for a reason, some things happen as they say because we were stupid enough to let them happen and that because we weren’t able to see all coming again clouded by too much “positivity”.
Be real with yourself. If you’re having a bad day, you don’t have to smile, I think it’s better to curse it out. If you feel down then so be it, be as miserable as you can be. Why would you lie to your own self when the world does that for you? Again I’m not being a pessimist I’m just true to myself. There are lots of occurrences where you may find yourself struggling between keeping a peace of mind and keeping an image to fool the “negativity” you work so hard to avoid.
I think it’s always good to see things as they are. To face the reality. Deep breathes may distract you from a day but an honest brutal talk with yourself could save you let alone distract you. I am no psychologist but I have seen so many and to be honest none helped me more than the day I accepted that life is not fair and is not supposed to be, that sometimes hate is just a feeling and it wouldn’t make me less of a good person if I happen to express it, that I can dedicate a day of grumpiness throwing the happy face out the window, that it’s totally my fault somethings happen and not because they were bound to happen. That it’s okay to go down some road I don’t understand and most importantly, it’s okay to shut myself out for as long as it takes till I feel like going out again. This way, because I don’t deny, I get over things sooner. But had I told myself not to cry, to smile, to see the positive side of the situation, well true I’d be okay for the day till it comes back again.
I chose to be a writer, and at first people used to tell me “your writings are good but a bit dark and sad, why can’t you write something that can motivate people, to give them hope, a smile to look forward to, or happy writings?” And I always reply saying I would rather not write at all. When I write, I don’t “just” write, I first observe, overthink if it’s needed, experience and live it. And happy isn’t not what I come across at every corner.
And then another time, a friend of mine who was going through a real hard time was trying so hard to hid it, and everyone praised her cheerfulness and I asked why she was doing that, as it was draining her out, and she told me if she doesn’t tell herself that she’s okay and pretend that it was then she’d be facing the reality which didn’t looking so good.
It’s true I can write saying,
The world is a beautiful place, whatever you put your mind into you can attain. Love with all your heart and the universe shall give you those worthy of your love. Always give out your best and doubt not, Believe. Everything happens for a reason and whatever goes around comes back around. Always do good, be kind and try to see the best in people. You have a beautiful priceless soul. Remember to always smile, you never know who you’re going to inspire. Everyday is a gift you can start again with, never regret anything from your past as it is what it made you, remember, what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger…
Or I can say…
Be careful, The world is indeed a beautiful place yet with prices to pay in return. you may spend your whole life working so hard and yet get beat up by some with better opportunities. Do good but look out for yourself while you’re at it, try to see the best in people but look out for what they might be otherwise, some might take advantage of your kindness and no it might not fire back at them, if you’re religious maybe you’ll say “I’ll get it back twice as much in the next life” but come on… the question is, is it worth the try?…love with all your heart yet let your mind do the measure on how far you should go for not everyone you fall for will be there to catch you. Everything that happens has a consequence …maybe for what’s good or what’s worst….either it will make you or break you, true that what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger but there might also be a chance it could make you wish like it did. Again the question would be, is it worth it? Somethings are meant to be regretted, whether they are the reasons behind who you are today, because come on you could have always done better, some days are gifts and some are to sleep through. So anyways be careful, take care of your mind more than anything.
So those are the two sides everyone takes every morning. And I personally think it’s wise to walk by the second one for it shows the world for what it really is. Being positive about all is a good thing but it can’t always be real. If you’re not okay you don’t owe anyone a smile and no one owes you a pat on the back. The moment you know there’s a probability of everything happening from the worst to the best, then the better you can take it as it comes.
Just, it’s okay to let it be once in a while.