Equity vs. equality
This article is an opinion, yet it will probably trigger some parts as facts would do. This whole article is based on what I have seen around and also what I have been through. That’s to indicate yes that I have been on both sides. I have once embraced how differently I was sculptured from men and I have also tried stepping on the same stairs men set their grounds on. Thinking I have served myself some justice right. Moving on, in my opinion again, I think feminism is going way wrong and I am definitely sure this is going to touch some nerves.
You see, when feminism started, it wasn’t at all about claiming to equal rights of nature but opportunity. To clarify that, women back then who fought for girls for their voice to be heard wasn’t at all so that they could do whatever the men do or equaling themselves to the men nature. When they talked about equality they were pleading for opportunities, equal voices and equal paths that men get naturally. But by no means where they compromising their natural flaws and replacing them.
I have a favorite saying “Women who seek to be equal with men lack ambition.” by Timothy Leary. Yes I am saying we are not equal, we are different. Our difference set the equal grounds we fight over and also set the boundaries on how far we should go.
I daresay that back then we had feminism fighting against the beliefs they were facing now we have fe’immunism, fe’immunization, fighting against our own natural ways and manners. That is to say that the feminist agendas these days have simply become systems to immune ourselves from our feminine system.
I would like to go through some events I have come across that briefly tell the tale of these days feminism in relation to the old days when it all started off so their daughters could have the same opportunity of going to school as their sons. So they could actually have the right to speak, to be able to stand up for themselves through abusive marriages, to stop dangerous traditional rituals that are critical to their health. Back then the women gathered around to set the emotionally imprisoned young ladies who could do a lot if given the opportunity. Back then feminism was beyond claiming themselves equal to the men, it was beyond growing armpit hair, ditching bras, dressing like men, having various life experiences including sexual freedom…it was beyond that, all that is not ambitious, it was instead about embracing the female nature, using that against and towards the harms they faced, it was about exposing their difference on equal grounds, all about being the best feminine self they could be.
Let me just name three points that opened my eyes to realize how far feminism has come wrong. Well now that we aren’t facing the same problems years ago, now that somehow it’s being resolved and girls are getting enough attention, the new agenda of feminism is taking the steps to another level. Why not form another legion claiming we have the same hormones enough to drive us through the same life style as men. These is to imply my points, Independence, Relationships and Sexuality.
I would like to indicate this is my personal opinion, for I know for sure there are lots who would be starting off saying how backward the whole point is.
It is true now that the educational opportunity is more or less set out to as many girls as possible, and for that we see a lot of talented and ambitious leaders all around doing perfectly on their own. What I don’t get is girls group. Creating their own circle rejecting men off their services. I have no doubt that they could accomplish without the help of men, but then I am sure they can do a lot better with them too, this goes same for the men who underestimate what women can do if given the platform to express their ideas. I just don’t see the point of working on our kind only when we could put our differences for a better use of the world.
The same point goes to leading life independently. I don’t get all the fuss about how women are better off without men, how work and living up to their luxurious dream life is what’s important, that marriage and relationships are just waste of energy they could put to a great use on their works.
I simply don’t agree with that, yes singlehood could be a lot fan and energizing and less dramatic, but then again looking up to those successful women that are doing great things to the world yet they return to their empty alone homes with no kids to be refreshed by and no partner to share their burdens with, and same busy weekends, I simply feel sorry. I think each of us, once we find the right person to boost our energy and not feed on it, we could do even mightier things.
So while independence is good, we don’t have to die alone you know.
Have you ever wondered why relationships these days don’t last longer? It’s simple, it’s because the girls are preached of wrong rights, while they have the right not to put up with the guys silly behaviors as they have the right to be dating others, as they have the right to be treated like men, it won’t be bad to compromise. Again they have the right to leave after one fight because the world is full of other men or women for all we care. These days, girls like to be the man in the relationship, because, being cared for is considered as a weakness. We let me make myself a part in this one, we like going after the rude, the ignorant and the hard to get ones because if there is a chance we conquer them, it makes us feel special, and we ignore those who treat us right like the ladies we are again because we feel weak or easy.
The other thing when it comes to relationships is that, girls this day’s most of them don’t want to give the treatment for their partners, they like their independence as said above, they don’t like putting too much of themselves out there, again it’s all playing the cards right that men created to their convenience. Showing love is so girly, why not swallow the pride and be as ignorant as the men.
To conclude these section am saying, once we’re in relationship there should be no problem expressing oneself, there is nothing wrong with putting up with some flaws if the girl loves the guy, nothing wrong at all if he is being protective though you perfectly know how to take care of yourself.
The other point to add to this would be relationship through family, to name one, motherhood. Motherhood is now considered as some burden and not a privilege of the occurrence. Thinking that the guy has to play the same role in raising a child these days, the sense, the bond and the sacrifice of motherhood is lost overall. What I am trying to say here is that, if a woman is set to be a mother then there is nothing wrong raising a child fulltime and for the guy to provide, that is because there is this special love and care the child will grow into that he/she will only get from the mother.
“It all started with the saying that if a guy goes around with as many girls as he likes then he’s the man, the cool one, and if the girl does the same well she is considered as a trash simply”.
Well though I believe everyone has the right to express themselves in whatever way they desire, yet not everyone is fit. Guys are emotionally independent, therefore regardless to the ways the expose themselves through emotional acts they remain the same or have no hard time going back to their old selves. But, these days we have lots of women dong the same as men, exposing ourselves and getting involved through our needs, but what we don’t know is that we lose part of ourselves every time we stretch our freedom, because we are not as emotionally independent as the men are, we get attached to soon and later on those acts of freedom and pleasure end up bringing out the worst of us.
When it’s suggested for a woman to hold back and reserve herself, it’s not taking the rights out of her instead it’s to right her with the being she is. Genuine.
To generalize the whole point of my opinion. We’re going the wrong way, simple as that, however were human beings created, I believe when a woman was made that she was to be full of love, creativity, art as smart and humble, while the man was to be protective, direct and detached. That’s nature and there is no way around it. We are not equal, we are different. We might do more on some matters where in another less. We need equal grounds not similarity. Women are here in the world to bring colors and men to work the edges through the colors. so there is nothing wrong with being loving, being humble and being obvious about it, if you are a feminist then stand for yourself, be immune to what the world is saying and show how beautiful your difference is and how smart you can mend that with men for a better world. We work together not against each other.